


I’m Sorry(Among Other Crimes)

by doctorsimmonswilson



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Songfic, Songfic: Back To December by Taylor Swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26187361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorsimmonswilson/pseuds/doctorsimmonswilson
Summary: Turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you; saying I’m sorry for that night.
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Kudos: 13
Collections: jolex x taylor swift week





	I’m Sorry(Among Other Crimes)

**Author's Note:**

> and for today’s fic! <3
> 
> enjoy!

_You've been good, busier than ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why_

Jo wonders if Alex is strategically avoiding her, or if she’s doing that subconsciously to him. Because in stairwells and hallways and rooms where she used to see him, she doesn’t anymore.

Which is why when she runs into him the northernmost stairwell on a particularly cold Tuesday, it’s surprising. 

“Hey,” he says simply. 

“Hey,” she responds quickly, moving past him, but Alex stops. So she does too.

“How are you?” Alex asks, awkwardness lacing his tone. Jo has half a nerve to slap him. 

“I’m good,” she lies. “Just- busy. You know, I’m getting ready for fifth year.”

“Righ,” Alex nods, “Okay. The weather is unseasonably cold.”

“Yeah,” she knows it’s dry. 

_Because the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind_

It’s the guilt that makes Alex awkward around Jo. He feels most guilty over what she saw. His bad side, the part of him that hurts. The part of him that takes his pain out on others. 

Jo had done so much for him, helping him turn from a bitter ass into the man he is today. Who they both thought he was. But Alex knows what he did to DeLuca. He knows what it makes him and what she must think. 

“I should go,” Alex finishes. Jo nods, walking up the stairs. Alex is left forgetting where he was going in the first place. She has that effect on him. It’s crushing. 

_So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying  
I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to  
December all the time_

“I’m sorry,” Alex tries it out. Jo freezes, stopping collecting gauze from the container. “I’m sorry you had to see me beat DeLuca, and I’m sorry I did it. I thought he was hurting you.”

Jo presses her lips together, gripping the gauze package so hard her knuckles turn white.

“I think about it a lot. You know about my husband. You can imagine how that looked to me,” Jo doesn’t turn around to Alex. 

“I’m not- I’m just saying that I’m sorry. I’ll go,” Alex bows his head. Jo hears the supply closet door swing shut, and she lets go of the gauze, letting out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. She feels like crying.

_These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving_

Jo doesn’t sleep anymore. Neither does Alex. Jo sleeps in the loft; the draft makes her toes cold, and the bed feel bigger and emptier. Alex sleeps at Meredith’s, emptiness filling his bed and his heart. They’re both always surrounded by friends, but constantly lonely. 

_Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming  
But if we loved again I swear  
I'd love you right_

Alex wants more than anything for Jo to give him a second chance. He wants to prove to her that he is who she thought he was, and that he would never hurt her. He wants to love her and care for her and protect in the way he should’ve before.

He doubts she’ll take him back.

_I go back to December all the time_

Jo never forgets what Alex did. But eventually she understands it and believes he’d never do it to her. It’s enough.


End file.
